1. As soon as you open a fresh tube of toothpaste, put a dab of Elmer’s glue (or standard epoxy) at the tip. This will make it nearly impossible to squeeze any of that precious paste out — in turn saving you hundreds of dollars a year.
2. DIY — Did you know how easy it is to make your own toothpaste? Follow these simple instructions, and you’ll be golden as a bear on steroids. Imagine that.
Put the following 9 ingredients in a blender on high for 4 minutes:
- 3 parts lemon juice
- 2 parts milk of magnesia
- 1 part hot milk of magnesia
- 5 parts sycamore leaves
- 1 part sequins (for dazzle)
- 1 part olive oil
- 2 magenta crayons
- 1 raw egg
- 1 6″x6″ square of extra rough sandpaper
3. Limit the number of times you brush to once a week. A single, weekly, two-hour brushing session will conserve enough toothpaste to make one tube last you well over two years. With all the dough you’ll be saving, you can buy a boat.